Episode Transcript
[00:00:10] You're listening to The Love Vox of psychotherapist Amynah Dharani.
[00:00:24] Happy Friday, everyone. You know, I've been thinking a lot about how our self-esteem impacts the way we engage to its social media.
[00:00:34] Recently, I came across a fascinating study published in the journal Addictive Behaviors that really made me reflect on this topic.
[00:00:43] The research, which is conducted by Alessio Gori and his team, focused on the connections between our attachment styles, self-esteem, and the infamous fear of missing out. Better known as FOMO. This study involved around 470 social media users, and its findings felt a bit like a mirror reflecting our digital lives.
[00:01:05] When I scroll through my feed, I can't help but notice how many likes and shares a post may have received.
[00:01:13] So where does self-esteem fit into all this?
[00:01:18] Self-esteem is essentially how we value ourselves. This study explains that self-esteem plays a critical role in how much time we spend online.
[00:01:29] The study noted that individuals with lower self-esteem often find themselves engaging more on social media and perhaps to seek approval and validation from others.
[00:01:39] It's almost like they feel compelled to post, check and compare themselves with influencers and friends.
[00:01:46] As a therapist, I can't help but empathize with this anxious type of attachment.
[00:01:52] It's interesting to note how self esteem and FOMo intertwine.
[00:01:58] As self esteem dips, FOMO tends to rise and have you ever found yourself hovering over your phone anxious about missing out on a friend's plan or response to a social media post?
[00:02:12] The study revealed that this compulsive checking behavior could indicate deeper psychological needs for connection and affirmation.
[00:02:20] It's like a dance between wanting to belong and the fear of being left out.
[00:02:26] And from an attachment standpoint, it can be exhausting.
[00:02:31] Now let's dive deeper into FOMO, or fear of missing out.
[00:02:36] It's a term that's garnered a lot of attention lately, and rightly so. It describes the anxiety we experience when we believe others are having more fun or experiencing life without us. This isn't just about social gatherings, it's about feeling excluded from anything that appears enjoyable.
[00:02:55] The reality is, FOMO often encourages excessive social media use, creating a vicious cycle that's hard to escape.
[00:03:05] During the study, the researchers used various validated clinical tools, and they used a clinical tool called the Rosenberg self-esteem scale.
[00:03:16] This scale helps gauge how we perceive our worth.
[00:03:21] As I read more about it, it dawned on me that our digital interactions might be less about connectivity and more about compensatory behavior due to our own insecurities.
[00:03:34] My inner geek was all over the findings of this study that showed the relationships between various attachment styles and social media addiction.
[00:03:44] Those with anxious or preoccupied attachment styles were found to engage more frequently on these platforms.
[00:03:52] Its easy to see how this might manifest in daily life.
[00:03:56] Someone constantly refreshing their feed or checking for messages might be subconsciously driven by these attachment patterns, and it raises interesting questions about our digital behavior and its roots.
[00:04:10] For many, social media can act as a bandaid for deeper issues. The study points out that individuals with inefficient attachment styles often turn to social media to fill social voids, leading to problematic use.
[00:04:26] These are the very users who typically report feeling disconnected or unsatisfied in their real life interactions.
[00:04:35] How many times have I heard someone say to me, I feel invisible and yet they report posting continuously?
[00:04:43] This disconnect can be pretty jarring.
[00:04:47] Another finding of the study that I found interesting was the amount of time spent on social media is a significant indicator of problematic use. Now, this may seem obvious, but what makes it notable is that it relates back to self esteem and fomo versus boredom.
[00:05:07] In a way, it's alarming how the number of hours spent scrolling can parallel feelings of inadequacy.
[00:05:15] I wonder, where do we draw the line between healthy engagement and harmful obsession?
[00:05:22] As a psychotherapist, I believe that understanding factors such as self esteem and FOMO is crucial in developing effective interventions for excessive social media use.
[00:05:34] Socially, we need to think deeply about how we can promote healthier online habits.
[00:05:40] Given this study's insights, it speaks to me that addressing self esteem issues and FOMO as pathways to help calm that compulsive need to check social media.
[00:05:53] As I reflect on these findings, it's essential to consider how our experiences shape our online interactions.
[00:06:02] Social media isn't all bad, but it can feed into insecurities that exacerbate unhealthy behaviors.
[00:06:11] We might want to learn more about ourselves and what drives our social media habits.
[00:06:17] With all this in mind, it becomes clear that taking a step back and assessing our self-worth outside of social media is of immense value.
[00:06:27] Balancing our online presence with real life connections can help mitigate that anxious tug of FOMO, and perhaps it is time for all of us to reevaluate our relationship with social media and how deep down we feel about ourselves.
[00:06:46] If you'd like to learn about my private practice, you can go to thelifeinterrupted.com. in the meantime, please connect with The Love Vox on Facebook, Instagram and X. And if you'd like to contribute to the show, please visit the show's website, thelovevox.com where you can leave voicemails that can be featured on the show, and you can also contribute to stories we are looking to feature. Until next time, stay passionate. Stay curious.
