Episode Transcript
[00:00:05] You're listening to The Love Vox with psychotherapist Amynah Dharani.
[00:00:18] Happy Friday, everyone.
[00:00:20] I've got to admit I am somebody who truly loves that Friday feeling.
[00:00:26] Most Fridays I'm almost skipping to my local Orangetheory studio at the end of the day, and I also look forward to my Friday treat. And that usually is some type of food or drink, usually a dessert.
[00:00:40] The fact that I use food as a TGIF celebration doesn't escape me.
[00:00:47] Food for many privileged societies is about more than sustenance.
[00:00:53] Were not just eating food to stay alive.
[00:00:56] Food is celebration. Food is reward.
[00:01:00] Food is entertainment. In fact, food is anything but sustenance.
[00:01:07] Some worrying aspects of this is the increase in obesity and eating disorders.
[00:01:13] According to the World Health Organization, obesity has doubled in the world since 1990 and adolescent obesity has quadrupled.
[00:01:23] A separate 2019 study estimates that 14 million individuals struggled with eating disorders worldwide.
[00:01:32] There are different ways to understand this. What could be potentially taking place in the lives of individuals?
[00:01:40] As a psychodynamic psychotherapist who integrates principles of object relations theory, eating behaviors provide me with insight into an individual's emotional world.
[00:01:53] Let me ask you this. Have you ever considered how your connection with food mirrors your interactions with people?
[00:02:01] The way we relate to what we eat can reveal deep seated patterns rooted in our early experiences.
[00:02:09] Object relations theory offers very interesting ways to understand this dynamic. It suggests that the relationships we formed a, whether with people or objects like food, are influenced by past connections and experiences and understanding this theory can shed light on why some of us have complicated relationships with food, leading to either indulgence or avoidance.
[00:02:35] So let's dive in.
[00:02:40] What is object relations theory? Let me pause here and say that the word object throws off a lot of people. It can be very confusing, and it makes the understanding of this concept much more complicated than it needs to be. So, in your mind, replace the word object with people.
[00:02:59] So, Object Relations theory.
[00:03:01] This stems from psychoanalytic thought. It emphasizes how early childhood interactions with caregivers shape our emotional world.
[00:03:11] A key belief of object relations theory is that we are relationship seeking. In fact, for those of you who are interested in attachment theory, attachment theory was influenced by object relations. This is where it all starts.
[00:03:27] Core object relations theory suggests that our early experiences shape how we relate to both people and objects.
[00:03:35] These relationships are not just external, they exist within us as internal images or a blueprint, if you wish.
[00:03:44] When we interact with the world, we project these blueprints, these inner representations onto others.
[00:03:51] This can influence everything from friendships to romantic partnerships and to the purchases we make.
[00:03:59] Consider how your relationship with a caregiver might create expectations in future adult relationships.
[00:04:07] If your caregiver let you down, might you expect that future friendships will also be disappointing?
[00:04:17] So the way you were treated in the past and your dynamics in the past can influence your interactions in the present.
[00:04:27] Similarly, this theory applies to objects in our lives. In addition to people. Think of food, possessions, or even hobbies like working out, they become extensions of ourselves and hold emotional significance based on past experience.
[00:04:45] Understanding this dynamic allows for a deeper reflection on why we connect with certain things and people in specific ways.
[00:04:54] Now let's consider how this theory makes sense of our relationship with food.
[00:05:00] Our relationship with food often mirrors our connections with people. It can be nurturing or fraught with tension.
[00:05:08] Just as we seek comfort and support from friends and family, we can turn to food for comfort. You may have heard of the phrase emotional eating in my private practice. The types of responses I have received from clients regarding their relationship with food has been described using words such as toxic and chaotic.
[00:05:30] I mean, you could be describing a relationship with a person.
[00:05:34] When food becomes central to our emotional lives, it's worth exploring the underlying reasons.
[00:05:42] Recognizing and understanding these patterns will help you understand why certain foods evoke strong feelings, both positive and negative.
[00:05:53] When we overinvest time in our relationship with food, it can lead to unhealthy patterns. Consider the hours spent planning meals or obsessing over calorie counts and macros. This fixation may stem from deeper emotional ties, reflecting how we connect with ourselves and others.
[00:06:12] This time, investment can create pressure around eating, making each mealtime feel like high stakes instead of an opportunity, opportunity for nourishment and enjoyment.
[00:06:22] So how can we develop a healthy relationship with food?
[00:06:27] One. Much like having healthy relationships with people, a healthy relationship with food should start with self awareness. Be mindful of what you eat and how it makes you feel. This awareness can help you recognize patterns in your emotional world and how it relates to your eating behavior. And you might want to keep a journal.
[00:06:48] Two, focus on balance instead of extremes. Life should not be all or nothing.
[00:06:56] Three, establish healthy boundaries that can create structure and security in your daily routines.
[00:07:05] Four, practice gratitude for your meals.
[00:07:09] Acknowledge the nourishment they provide, both physically and emotionally.
[00:07:14] Cultivating appreciation can transform mealtime into a cherished experience instead of just another toxic task.
[00:07:24] By implementing these practices, cultivating joy and balance becomes possible in our relationship with food while reducing anxiety surrounding it.
[00:07:35] In wrapping up our small bites segment today, I encourage our listeners to reach out to healthcare professionals to address any underlying health issues that may exist and to get the support of a registered nutritionist and a licensed therapist specializing in food relationships.
[00:07:53] If you'd like to learn about my private practice, you can go to thelifeinterrupted.com. in the meantime, please connect with The Love Vox on Facebook, Instagram, and X. And if you'd like to contribute to the show, please visit the show's website, thelovevox.com, where you can leave voicemails that can be featured on the show, and you can also contribute to stories we are looking to feature. Until next time, stay passionate. Stay curious
